We know that God is perfectly capable of running the universe all by Himself. He is almighty and all-powerful - He needs no help. Yet He engages in partnership with humanity on a regular basis, and He establishes covenant with His church.
Moreso, He manifests Himself in 3 persons --Father, Son, and Holy Spirit-- that have different functions, but are in deep communion with one another. Why does God, who needs no one, do this? Have you ever considered how imperative relationships must be to God?
Human beings were designed to be in relationship with one another. On a biological, physical, and psychological level, it's easy to see that human beings were created to live and thrive in the context of community.
There are countless Neurological studies documenting the importance of intimacy in relationships; conversely, there have also been studies done highlighting the detrimental effects of not having meaningful connections with the people around us.
In one study conducted by Harvard University, researchers discovered that a "lack of social ties is associated with depression and later-life cognitive decline," as well as an increased mortality rate. On the contrary, research from AARP.org documents that "interacting with others in meaningful ways may provide a buffer against the harmful effects of stress on the brain."
But of course, the number of relationships we have is not necessarily the focus. What is of significance, though, is the quality of our relationships, and the purpose of our connections.
In my own life, I have found that one of my greatest and worst qualities is my proclivity towards being independent. I have had to learn how to find a balance between "the one" and "the many", but the importance of intimacy is something that always comes to the forefront of my mind. When we think of intimacy, we often associate it with a sexual connotation - but it is much deeper than that!
Intimacy is relevant in all types of relationships: parent-child relationships, spousal relationships, friendships, etc. This is because intimacy pertains to truly knowing a person - one's weaknesses, strengths, failures, fears, joys, dreams... Intimacy is about knowing one's substance and the nuances of one's existence.
"Intimacy is about knowing one's substance and the nuances of one's existence."
Throughout the Bible, there is a specific word used to describe this type of knowing. Defined as "to know", the word yada is of Hebrew origin and has multiple applications throughout the Bible - thus reflecting the various facets of relationship human beings are designed to be a part of.
Yada = GIVING LOVE
This type of knowing can be seen in Genesis 4 when Adam and Eve come together in a sexual way:
4 And the man knew [yada] Eve his wife; and she conceived, and bare Cain, and said, I have gotten a man with the help of Jehovah.
Although this type of intimacy is sexual, the thing to notice here is the way the word yada is used. When Adam and Eve knew one another, they engaged in a physical expression of love, but it was an expression of love nonetheless. This knowing involved the interlacing of their bodies and this extpression of intimacy highlights the joining of two people in the context of a committed relationship.
Yada = UNDERSTANDING
Intimacy also relates to a deep understanding of one's needs. As shown in Proverbs 12:10,
10 A righteous man regards [yada] the life of his animal, But the tender mercies of the wicked are cruel.
The deep level of closeness this verse illustrates is caring for the needs of another by understanding one's makeup and one's value. Knowing a person is much more than superficial acquaintance; developing intimacy entails truly understanding one another - and allowing that understanding to dictate how we care for others.
Yada = PRACTICING JUSTICE
Believe it or not, intimacy is also expressed in the way we treat one another. Jeremiah 22:16 displays an interesting account of the Lord declaring this meaning of yada by saying,
16 He defended the cause of the poor and needy, and so all went well. Is that not what it means to know [yada] me?” declares the Lord.
Here we can see that in extending justice and mercy to others, we express intimacy because doing so reflects an understanding of one's innate worth. We're also able to emulate God's good and just character, living out the covenant relationship He has called us to in our daily lives.
Intimacy is difficult, intensely rewarding, and all too much on the decline in this digital age. Now, real relationships are being substituted for relationships with our phones, alcohol, pornography... anything but a real person.
otice how I didn't state that "intimacy is difficult, BUT rewarding"? There is no clause present because it is both things simultaneously. True intimacy creates an interesting dichotomy in the context of relationships because it's challenging and comforting.
Intimacy entails removing barriers to allow yourself to be seen - all while finding security in being utterly exposed.
Intimacy, into-me-you-see, is the crux of all meaningful relationships, especially in a relationship with Christ.
Now here comes the golden question...
"...How can I cultivate intimacy in my relationships?"
Thanks for asking! I have some tips for you:
If you're an introvert, challenge yourself to lean into the relationships you already have. You don't have to become the greatest social-butterfly to experience meaningful intimacy; all you have to do is work on the relationships you're already apart of. You can do this all while being considerate of your need to retreat and be alone. But in the time you do spend with others, be sure to make the most of it.
If you're an extrovert, challengoe yourself to hone in on the many relationships you already have with others. Mold your meaning of intimacy into an outward expression of kindness that draws people into you. By doing this, you'll find that you are not only acquaintances with many, but now you're connected to many - and this connection can add immense value to your life and the lives of others.
Challenge yourself to lean into the power of intimacy! It will revolutionize your world view, and add sublime substance to your relationships.
Thanks for reading!
Reflect:
Do you find yourself feeling lonely most of the time?
Do you have a desire to deepen your relationships?
What are some ways you can create meaningful connections with others?
Song of the week: "Known" by Tauren Wells
Crystal ❤️
Sources Used:
https://www.health.harvard.edu/newsletter_article/the-health-benefits-of-strong-relationships
https://www.aarp.org/home-family/friends-family/info-2017/loving-relationships-and-brain-health.html